


subsitute

by flapian



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25634251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flapian/pseuds/flapian
Summary: ❝Ｄｏｎ'ｔ ｙｅｌｌ ａｔ ｍｅ ｉｎ ｌａｎｇｕａｇｅｓ Ｉ ｄｏｎ'ｔ ｕｎｄｅｒｓｔａｎｄ. ❞❝ＩＭ ＴＡＬＫＩＮＧ ＩＮ ＪＡＰＡＮＥＳＥ ＹＯＵ ＤＵＭＢＦＵＣＫ! ❞-> ⁱⁿ ʷʰⁱᶜʰ ᵃ ᶜᵉʳᵗᵃⁱⁿ ᵘⁿᵐᵒᵗⁱᵛᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵇᵒʸ (???) ᶠⁱⁿᵈˢ ʰⁱˢ ᵖᵃˢˢⁱᵒⁿ ᵗʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ ʰⁱˢ ᵗᵉᵃᵐ ᵐᵃᵗᵉˢ ᵒᶠ ᵏᵃʳᵃˢᵘⁿᵒ.started - 7/30/20ended - ongoingquality over quantity - slow updates - 1 chapter/week - typically on wednesdays*profanity**lotsa fluff**slow burner**mature mentions*I DO NOT OWN HAIKYUU. 💤
Comments: 1





	subsitute

✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖

 **PACKING YOUR BAGS STUFFED WITH MANY THINGS THAT WERE GOING TO BE NEEDED FOR THE TOURNAMENT WAS A WHOLE HASSLE AND A HALF.** You were definitely not the most organised person in the world and it really shows.

Clothes are laid everywhere on the wooden floor of your bedroom, with trash covering the small spaces that would have laid bare for the eye to see, and all kinds of pens and pencils are scattered about in the corners also.

Your closet is nothing more than another place to stash any project boards that were kept after it was given back, or posters that were hung up previously on the bedroom wall before falling and crumbling onto the ground. All of the clothes are either on your floor or on your bed, none of it is hung up neatly on a hanger as there was no place for you to put it.

Not to mention the amount of school paperwork both finished and unfinished were plopped into horrendous piles on your chair, the same chair where you were supposed to do your paperwork on. Where do you even do your homework? Ah, yes, you do it in the class that it was due.

Efficient as always.

The desks are mostly occupied with cans and _cans_ of canned coffee that have been collected over the past few days. You were sure you cleaned it out only a while ago, so why had it all piled up into a tower that prevented the purpose of what a desk was supposed to be, which was completing homework on it? That is something for the world to find out.

Did you really drink that much coffee? Yeah, you drink one or two cans in the morning, another two in the afternoon, and maybe one just before heading back home. But isn't that a necessary amount for every real human being?

We're not talking about those Korean idols who eat little to nothing on a daily basis or those sports athletes who go around practising every hour on the clock, burning more calories than they consume.

You eat everything that you want to, whenever you want to. Sodas, coffee of course, and energy drinks are far tastier to drink than water. Honestly, who would even want to drink water willingly? You would have to be sane to drink that shit and smile afterwards. Oh, and you definitely aren't sane.

Yes, you are that one kid who always has their water bottle filled to the brim with energy drinks and energy drinks _only_ instead of water. You don't even bother with refilling it, you have bottles of unopened energy drinks in your duffel bag that can last anyone for a week.

Your coach, of course, had told you in many instances that your " _addiction_ " to sports energy drinks isn't the healthiest thing in the world. You heard all of it.

He even threatened to kick you out of your team for it. You knew he wouldn't do that, you were the pillar of the team, after all. The only one who's been able to keep the team somewhat functional without kawa-san. You were the team captain.

Of course, you knew that your liver would probably kill to even be cleansed _once_ with an easy glass of pure, filtered water, but you aren't going to let that happen anytime soon. The only way your liver would ever get water was from you drowning yourself into a pool, or from tripping yourself in a shower.

You did your research, energy drinks are just water with extra food colouring, fruit extracts and sugar. Okay maybe a lot more chemicals that could potentially cause long term health problems, but it wasn't like you had a plan to live long.

Why would you want to stay in this world with a wrinkly ass and blurry vision? You won't even be able to move around freely, it would be like staying stuck in a cage of your own body. Sitting on a couch and moving around through a wheelchair isn't the most flattering nor convenient thing if you ask me. I mean yeah, you get to park in the handicapped slot legally, but the benefits just aren't quite cutting it you see?

You just can't imagine yourself being happy sipping on stale tea on your front lawn, telling happy kids to shut up as you read that same dusty novel for the fifth time that week.

And baking cookies and boiling soups certainly wouldn't be on your to-do list anytime soon. You tried to boil some water for coffee, but ended up setting water on fire.

How did you even do that?

And toast? You were so sure that using a toaster is nothing more than putting bread into a machine, and yet you managed to catch the kitchen on fire using it.

Out of all these situations, you learned to never ever step into the kitchen ever again. And since then, you've been living your life off of calling for deliveries, or eating whatever Iwa-chan cooks for you.

Ah, he does cook some really good ramen though, you won't mind trading a few years of your life just to taste that again.

So what is your future plan?

Lose your virginity, fuck some guys and girls, and adopt all the animals in a shelter.

Pulling a real Mr. Beast right there if you ask me.

You aren't even going to try and find whatever "true love" is, you just want your fucking cats and dogs. You won't even mind farm animals or birds. Heck, now that you think about it, you might as well own a private zoo. Without the exotic animals and bad treatments of course, god no.

They'll all have their own individual spot on your bed, where you can all cuddle and watch all the animes you could before you fall asleep.

Talking about sleep, you can really use some right now.

Hastily hoisting your duffel bag over your shoulder, you grabbed your jersey, looping it onto one arm and pulling the door open with the other. You hurried your way out of the doorway, but one of your jersey sleeves just had to get stuck onto the doorknob, making you stumble back into your room clumsily with a pull.

"Fuck." You mumbled, jerking the sleeve away from the knob so you can continue your way out of the house.

' _Carefully_ ', you leapt from the top of the stairs to the bottom, landing safely onto your feet flat on the ground with a thump, threatening to move the floor so much, the tectonic plate probably moved down at least a centimetre or two.

At least you'll get to brag to your teammates that you were somewhat the reason for the next earthquake of the many that would happen in Japan.

"Safe," you smirked.

Pulling your phone out of your jersey jacket, you tapped the home button and glanced onto the time displayed on the screen.

**2:10**

Shit.

Your team was supposed to meet at 2:00, you knew they were departing at fifteen, but courtesy to japanese customs, you knew people were already there an hour before. You can practically hear your teammate's protest from your house, cursing behind your back for lagging the whole team behind.

It takes at least twenty minutes to walk to your school, ok maybe ten if you run. And that is if god decided to play nice and not put any stubborn pebbles in your way, or for any god forbidden karens calling you out because you tie your shoe too tightly. You knew with the timing and all, there was bound to be something to happen on your way there, so you won't even bother to try and make it on time.

You backtracked quickly from your thoughts and began rummaging through the kitchen cabinets to find the one necessity that can absolutely not be ignored for the tournament. One empty box after another was thrown left to right. 

Those of crackers, cereals, all kinds of snacks were hauled onto the kitchen floor in a desperate attempt to find the only thing that would be able to let you power through the whole game.

"God where is it?!" you grumbled. "I swear to fucking god, I will not leave this fucking house until I find it."

Finally after two minutes of dumping snacks behind you, you wrap your hand upon a familiar small, plastic packaging. You held it out to your view and immediately started squealing to your heart's content. "GUMMIESSS!"

Okay, maybe that might've been a bit dramatic, but hey, there's not much that could bring you to joy anymore, so don't even.

Stuffing the god's creation into your duffel bag, you finally slipped onto your shoes and heaved a heavy sigh, bracing yourself for the run you had inevitably placed yourself into. Running isn't your forte per se, but when you were put in a situation where you have to? You bet you would stretch your legs out faster that JoJo Siwa's receding hairline.

Locking the door behind you, you check your phone one last time.

**2:17**

**1 message from _my baby boy 🥺💖💓_**

**2 messages from _Bitch shut the fuck up ❤️_**

You already know what the coach was going to say, so you ignored his text and tapped into tobio's instead, stretching your legs as a way to warm yourself up for the sprint.

.

.

.

_**my baby boy 🥺💖💓** _

boke, where tf are u?

the bus is already here and we're all in already

_**Late mf** _

ya'll doing an orgy without me? 

Ö

ok ok i see how it is 💔

btw, i just got out from my house

_**my baby boy 🥺💖💓** _

ur house???

BOKE ITS 2:20

WE'RE GONNA LEAVE WITHOUT U

_**Late mf** _

nah, yall wont

ive always been late and u guys always waited 😹

plus u guys cant do shit without me 😽😼😎

_**my baby boy 🥺💖💓** _

wtf were u even doing?

i thought i told u before we left from school to get ready as soon as u got home?

_**Late mf** _

well u see ;;

u know how much i love gummies right? 👉👈

** _my baby boy 🥺💖💓_ **

u might as well get married to it

u probably love gummies more than volleyball

_**Late mf** _

HEY

BITCH 🤬😡🤬😡

WAT ABT UR MILK ADDICTION HUH???

IM SURPRISED U HAVEN'T TURNED INTO A COW YET

MOO MOO MF 💀🐮

_**my baby boy 🥺💖💓** _

shut up

u eat that shit like crack

actually

screw it

im sure u already smoke crack

_**Late mf** _

bitch u—

ok n e ways

i couldnt find any before i left so it took awhile 😝✨

_**my baby boy 🥺💖💓** _

...

i will tell the coach to leave rn

_**Late mf** _

u wouldnt

_**my baby boy 🥺💖💓** _

o i will.

watch me.

_**Late mf** _

huh

👁👄👁

_read_

WAIT

DONT ACTUALLY

PLEASEEEE 😭😭😭

JHDKJDLKS

ILL BE THERE ASAP

I SWEAR 🥺

JUST DONT LEAVE

KJSDKSJD

TOBIO????

_unseen_


End file.
